the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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