well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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