Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
