Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm drive I can fine osifer
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
