i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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