he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I AM VODKA MAN
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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