sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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