cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
