If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
