Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Enjoy the penises
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize