This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
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