Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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