i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
