we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The power of my boobs compel you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
