I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
