I wish i was in the wii world.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
