It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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