My brain says no but my pants say off.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
