Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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