just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
