...so i touched it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
