Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
