her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
