Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
