I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
ttyl tear gas
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
