in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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