I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
