Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
