none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize