Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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