Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
