This house was built for laser tag.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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