i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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