I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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