Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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