I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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