there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had to cum in my sink.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
