I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
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Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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