so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
