What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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