my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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