im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
