considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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