I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
