she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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