I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
