I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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