People with herpes should wear stickers.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
someone owes me an orgasm
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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