The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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