He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
