FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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