he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize