now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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