Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
well you can't waste a boner
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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