just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
