Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
