I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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