and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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