the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
