I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
