just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
whose ass print is on the piano?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
